Let’s talk on screen relationships. Since it’s summer, and I
have no friends- kidding, I have friends, but seriously- I have been spending a
lot of time watching romantic movies. I am the biggest sap in the world so I
eat it up. I sit in front of the television with a box of kleenex just waiting
for the waterworks. That’s not even the worst part. I consistently find myself
yelling at the characters when they sabotage their relationships. “How could
you, Elizabeth. He loves you!” Needless to say, I’m a big mess by the time the
movie is over.
I am by no means an expert on relationships but I couldn’t
push aside the way in which on screen relationships affect me. It never fails.
I sit in front of the television watching any given romance movie and
immediately I find myself going ‘awwwwww’ and instinctively clutching my chest.
And then I mentally added a new item onto an already extensive list of what I
want my guy to do when I am in a relationship.
Poor guy. I am basically setting him up for failure because
there is no earthly way he’s going to be able to guess everything on my list
much less do it.
I found myself fantasizing about this dreamboat with piercing
blue eyes and a killer smile. He would be ye tall, with perfect hair, and
manners from another century. I swear he could read minds because in my vision,
my guy would always know what to say
and he would always do exactly what I
wanted him to (and I didn’t even have to tell him!). If you happen to know a
guy like this, please tell me where I can find him because I have had zero
luck. Sure, there may be guys with the piercing blue eyes but then they never
act like the characters in movies, do they? I mean, I’ve never had a guy stand
in my front yard with a boombox. I’ve never had a guy write me a song. I’ve
never had a guy tell me that he wants to marry me so he can kiss me whenever he
wants or that I complete him. In every relationship I initiated, I went in with
those expectations. I wanted to find my other half, the guy that would complete
me. I wanted it to be exactly like in the movies. So essentially I spent my
time looking for the perfect guy who, by the way, doesn’t exist. Because of
this, every relationship I had was destined to fail and as a result I began to
believe there was something wrong with me. In my misguided attempts to prove to
myself that there was nothing wrong and that I was good enough, my thoughts and
focus were entirely consumed on finding a guy so that my life would be complete
and I could finally be who I was meant to be. More than ever I searched for a
guy to make me feel whole but when a new relationship started, it ended just
like before. He never said what I wanted him to and he never did what I thought
he should. And I was right back where I started, feeling like there was something
wrong. Feeling sad, empty. Incomplete. And then what were only suspicions in my
mind before became fact—something was wrong with me. Why didn’t anyone want me?
After a season of what I considered solitude, I began to see
things for what they were. First of all,
NEVER base your expectations for a relationship off of Hollywood. It’s complete
fantasy. No one can ever live up to those standards. On screen relationships
give the wrong idea of what a relationship should be. They give us a false
notion of what relationships should look like. Furthermore, they give the wrong idea of what a
relationship should be based off of. Secondly, and most importantly, my reason for wanting a man in my life was completely
off base. Since in the movies I had seen countless leading men fix broken
damsels in distress, I thought I needed a guy to fix me. The guys who entered
my life never had a chance because I was asking them for something they could
never give me.
I was asking them to fill the void in my heart and life that
only one Man could.
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And let me tell you about this Man. He is perfect in every way. He fiercely loves me. [Ephesians 2:4-6]. He protects me [Psalm 91:14] and you know what? He even gave
His life for me 2,000 years ago on a cross [John 3:16]. I wanted saving, I
wanted love and yet I was looking in all the wrong places. I “knew” of Christ’s
unfailing love but I never opened my heart and life to experience it. I wanted
Christ to save me but I kept running away- searching for my own solutions that
always left me empty. I thought that I needed some guy from some invented
fantasy to complete me and give me value but I was wrong.
I am a child of God and because of that I am complete in Him
[Colossians 2:9-10]. If I have Christ, I have everything. I am His masterpiece
and because of that I am valuable [Ephesians 2:10]. I had to come to the
realization and understanding that without Christ I am nothing. And that is the
same for anyone. So any guy may be handsome, tall and rich but without Christ, he.
has. nothing. My Father only wants what is best for me. He knows exactly what I need even though I may not know. So my list goes out the window. So while I wait for God to bring the perfect man for me, I will let Him be my bridegroom. I will let God pour love onto me.
I encourage you ladies [and gentlemen] to do the same. Wait on
God and let Him romance you. Let Him show you what true love is all about. Don’t
forget, we are able to love because He first loved us [1 John 4:19]. And guess what, guys, God wants me! He wants all of me, even the broken not so good pieces. And he wants you, too. Give God the chance to fill your life with love and joy. It's a relationship you'll never regret starting.
Now, go enjoy your world. Love everyone, including yourself, especially yourself.
xoxo,
SJ
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